A few life lessons and takeaways from the year

This year has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs.

I'm writing down a few of my key takeaways for my future self, and for anyone else who happens to stumble across my blog.

The uncertain journey of finding an internship

Like many other penultimate-year students, a key focus of this year was securing an internship.

Naturally, the process came with plenty of rejections, unanswered emails, and a fairly brute-force approach to applications.

The process is certainly as they say — deeply humbling and often filled with uncertainty. At times, I genuinely questioned whether I was capable of landing an internship at all. I didn't have stellar grades or much prior technical experience beyond building my startup.

If there's one thing I learned, it's that even when things feel overwhelming in the moment, you will probably be okay.

That doesn't mean everything magically works itself out. Often, it still requires dedication, persistence, and a willingness to think differently when the obvious approach isn't working.

But even when the outcome isn't exactly what you hoped for, the process still changes you. You become a stronger candidate, learn more about yourself, and usually come away better prepared for whatever comes next.

Learning from my mistakes

The following lessons came from a more personal experience, but I think they apply equally well to work, friendships, and life more broadly.

1. Catch assumptions before acting on them.
   I often try to gather as much information as possible before making a decision, but even a large amount of data can still be filtered through biases, assumptions, and misjudgements.

   Taking a step back, seeking a second opinion, and genuinely listening to perspectives that challenge your own can help stress-test those assumptions before they turn into decisions.

2. Recognise when emotion is masquerading as certainty.
   Like most people, I dislike uncertainty. It's uncomfortable not knowing where something stands, and there is a strong temptation to force clarity when none exists yet.

   One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that we should try to find clarity, rather than force it.

   Emotions are useful information, but they shouldn't be the sole basis for major or irreversible decisions. When we are overwhelmed, something can feel completely rational in the moment while still being something we later regret.

3. Create time between feeling and decision.
   This follows naturally from the first two lessons.

   One of my favourite mental models is to think about one-way-door and two-way-door decisions. In business, these can sometimes be relatively easy to identify. In our personal lives, emotion makes that distinction much harder.

   Feelings can create a sense of urgency and make us feel like we need to act immediately. Sometimes, however, the best decision in the moment is no decision at all.

   Pause. Sleep on it. Come back when the emotional intensity has fallen.

4. Use writing to clarify yourself, not necessarily to deliver raw intensity.
   Writing has always helped me turn messy thoughts into something more coherent. It forces me to slow down, examine what I'm thinking, and express myself more clearly.

   But not every difficult conversation is best delivered in writing.

   Some conversations benefit from being spoken aloud, where both people can respond, clarify, interrupt, question, and understand each other in real time. Those conversations can be confronting and unpredictable, but they are often more human.

   Writing can help prepare for the conversation. It doesn't always need to replace it.

5. Have difficult conversations with the person, not at the person.
   Being a good communicator is difficult.

   It requires holding your own thoughts while also listening carefully enough to understand what the other person is trying to say. It requires asking questions instead of assuming answers, and creating space for both people to respond.

   A conversation should be something you participate in together, rather than something one person delivers to the other.

6. Revisit charged messages before sending them.
   A recurring theme in these lessons is learning to separate emotion from action.

   One of my strongest takeaways from this year is simple: stop and pause.

   If a message feels unusually intense, especially if it's late at night or you're emotionally overwhelmed, don't send it immediately. Save it. Come back later. Re-read it.

   Sometimes writing the message is enough to clarify what you're feeling. Sending it is a separate decision.

   Off-loading an emotional burden might feel relieving in the short term, but that doesn't necessarily mean it is helpful for either the sender or the receiver.

7. Pause before making something irreversible.
   This is ultimately an extension of the one-way-door and two-way-door idea.

   Train yourself to develop restraint around decisions that could permanently change something you value.

   When the stakes are high, urgency itself should sometimes be treated as a reason to slow down.

   Ask whether the decision still feels right after a night of sleep, after speaking to someone you trust, or after considering the situation from a completely different perspective.

   Avoid making irreversible decisions at the peak of an emotional moment.

I learnt some of these lessons the hard way.

This year, I made decisions that I regret, and there are conversations I wish I had approached differently. I can't change those decisions, but I can choose what I learn from them.

So I'm leaving these thoughts here as a reminder to my future self:

Slow down. Question the story in your head. Talk to people rather than around them. And when something important feels urgently irreversible — pause.